Twat's in a name?

The Triboro Bridge in NYC has been re-named the Robert F. Kennedy Bridge.

I think this is a beautiful thing: RFK was a great man who was taken from us too soon.

Whilst recently driving over the newly-minted RFK bridge in a cab, I couldn't help but attempt to think of roads or bridges or anything public or federally funded with a woman's name on it in either city I have lived in (or anywhere in the country). I came up empty.*

Dan Ryan. Kennedy. Eisenhower. Richard Nixon was an asshole and a crook and still gets his own library.

FDR. Stevenson. Lincoln Tunnel. Sheridan Road. O'Hare. LaGuardia. JFK. The George Washington Bridge.

The words are so ingrained in our vernacular, we forget they are actually in honor of a person.

Even honorary streets I've seen are solely men's: Mike Ditka Way. Jerome Robbins Way. Leonard Bernstein Way. Bob Fosse Way.

These men are clearly all deserving of their streets and bridges and tunnels and Ways and dysfunctional airports. I'm just curious when we'll be able to drive on a woman.

The most I can come up with is a rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike bearing Susan B. Anthony's name. (For the record, the one with Alexander J. Hamilton's name I find equally disturbing and insulting: something about naming a place where you stop to piss after someone of honor just doesn't seem right to me. I digress.)

We had the Susan B. Anthony silver dollar issued in 1979; no one seemed to like that so we switched over to the ever-popular Sacajawea gold dollar. Sacajawea, the woman who allegedly led Lewis and Clark to the Pacific Ocean, actually was just along for the ride with her husband who was hired as an interpreter. But according to all the explorer's diaries, she maintained a helpful, uncomplaining attitude in the face of hardship. YAY! :)

And NO ONE likes or USES the coin dollar. It baffles cashiers and is oft mistaken for a quarter. They are heavy, a burden and the only time we get them is when we get change at the Post Office or at the MTA.

The whole gesture also seems like a big "whoops/sorry" to the Native Americans for raping and pillaging them. Which has nothing to do with women.

SO. Who's it gonna be?

Sarah Palin Boulevard?

Hillary Clinton Freeway?

I was queasy at 6:30 AM today (or maybe I was waiting for Santa) and sipped a coke while watching MSNBC. Apparently at 6:30 AM they have some show called MODELS NYC. (Who knew?)

The whole thing is sort of stupid, but in their attempt to keep it like a news show, they noted that women models make 50% more than men models on an equivalent shoot.

Well. It's about time.

So basically the only trade where women are paid more than men (that I can think of) is apparently modeling. And probably hookerdom, though I don't want to know.

So this says to me that the only place where women are valued and have the upper hand is in their beauty.

What also was interesting to note during my 6:30 am queasefest is that Rachel Maddow, who was just awarded her own show (yay!) on MSNBC, if you blur your eyes, kind of looks like a man. Like my eyes were blurry while watching this ad today and she looked like a darker-haired Keith Olberman. Ew.

Rachel Maddow is very attractive (and extremely smart), but, to be frank, because of her sexual orientation, she is not a threat to men. She can play ball because she suits up like the boys. Ms. Maddow's show is a huge victory according to the National Center for Women in the Media. And I would agree.

Still, I dare a news network to hire a feminine-looking woman to host a political show.

The thing that apparently gives women the upper hand in American life is not allowed into the political arena because it is simply too threatening.

And when we do get our chance, it's somewhat ignored or insignificant.

Katie Couric's Sarah Palin interview is more remembered for Sarah Palin's idiocy than for Katie Couric's abilities.

CNN did let Soledad O'Brien talk during the 2008 election. Her responsibilities were limited, however. She was a veritable anchorwoman.

Or, worse, it's called out:




During this recent financial upheaval, I've been watching CNBC, which, interestingly enough, has a lot of women on their network. And they're all really attractive. A woman named Contessa gets her own show. She gets to be badass and beautiful and brilliant. Four of the eight talking heads they have screaming at each other are women and they are treated with respect. It's sort of mind-blowing and refreshing, actually.

Could it be that women are more financially adept? Could it be that women are a little more savvy? Trustworthy? Would Bernie Madoff be Bernie Madoff if he were Bernice?

But if we want to get a street named after us, however, we must succeed in the political (or military) arena.

The only female military personnel to make it to the news that I've heard of was WINNER Lynndie England who made Iraqi prisoners diddle themselves for the camera and Jessica Lynch, the P.O.W. who, apparently, was merely used as a prop in the Bush Administration's Iraq-is-Going-Well Propaganda.

The only women allowed to be attractive on political television are smack-talking republicans.
Maybe they're doing something right.

Who knows? One day we might be taking a right on Ann Coulter Way.

Vomit.







(*If someone reading this knows of a street or public locale named after a woman, please comment! I would love to be proven wrong!)