Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Rhymes with Orange.

So some asswipe Traditional Rabbi said: "A woman belongs on the bimah (the altar where Jews pray) as much as an orange belongs on the Seder Plate."

For those of you that don't know, an orange doesn't belong on the seder plate--we have things like bones and eggs and greens and apples mushed with nuts and wine and horseradish. That's what's on a seder plate.

So this guy's point was that women shouldn't be rabbis. And the seder I was at tonight, like most of them I have been at in recent years, have oranges on their seder plates, in Defiance of This Horrible Man.

It's funny to me, that as a culture of educated people we make these symbolic changes and we do little to really Change.

But then I wonder if that's just our Nature.

The head of our seder tonight was a male. It's usally led by a male. I don't want to do it. I do and want to do a lot of things; this is not one of them. And then I realized almost ever seder I've been to in my life has been led by a male, that's just the way it is.

But with that, comes the comments that happened tonight as they do annually, the head of the seder commenting on his wife's poor cooking, as if she were supposed to be BORN able to cook. It's all in fun but tonight I heard it differently. She is the Food Organizer, as he calls her, and we all laugh.

This woman is an educated, working, successful woman. I know he's joking but there it is, this Symbolic Orange, and nothing around us is any different.

At this giant seder, we all go around and say our names and what we do. A young woman there tonight said she is at a major university studying to be a sports broadcaster. I found that bold and somewhat impressive. I always think the women sports journalists seem very savvy and enthusiastic and well, cooler than myself. On the way out, I heard her say, "yeah, well I don't really take women sports broadcasters seriously, so we'll see."

This is what she is studying to Be. If we don't believe in what we are, how can we grow up to Be it.

I just finished a two-month stint at an all-women's university, which was a most interesting and empowering experience. The women are smarter, savvier than I was at that age, more realistic, more emotionally resilient and more open-minded than I was in my early 20s. And they are learning to lead in ways I didn't. I would never have considered an all-women's school because I was supposed to Find a Husband in college. But I wonder, had I considered one, would I have been more likely to Find Myself sooner.

I fought for Hillary Clinton last year because I didn't know who our first woman president was going to be if not her. I still don't. Maybe it's just not in our nature to want to be President? Maybe we just don't want to deal with it the same way I don't want to bother to ever lead a seder? Because that's just The Way it Is?

When She wins, whomever She may be, I believe we will be a country changed forever, for the better, in the way I think we are after this election.

These women at this school are truly remarkable. Their yearbook is called "The Spinster,"--as it was deemed years ago--they cannot break with tradition.

I believe they will be the ones, however, to break with tradition--they are the female leaders of tomorrow and I am grateful to have worked with them.