Crack Whore

I think that if chiropractors owned who they were they wouldn't get so much crap from the medical community.

I'm sitting there, today, getting cracked and adjusted and manipulated and handled by a guy who calls himself "Doctor," and I'm like, this guy isn't a "Doctor." He doesn't even play one on T.V.

But chiropractic is the most effective treatment I've had for my ailing joints and muscles.

Dude, you're not a doctor: you didn't cut open a cadaver, you didn't do a residency, you haven't watched someone die. You crack me and make me feel better. So why not just call it out? You're taking on the name of a very serious profession that requires years and years of training and expertise and they, rightfully so, aren't thrilled about it.

And furthermore, don't try to tell people that what real doctors do is wrong and that Western Medicine is evil--just do your thing. I get these hippie-dippy emails in my inbox from a chiropractor about how medicine is bad and pills are bad and run from MDs because they will eat your children.

Please.

Call yourself an "Alignment Specialist," or a "Pain Management Technician."

I leave and I feel eight inches taller, my legs don't feel like they are in my armpits and my shoulders are lower. It's a beautiful thing.

It's a good lesson, I thought, to own who you are. Because you might actually be better than what you are trying to be.