GAY, Dear

So I'm sitting in a Starbucks, attempting to get work done but am interrupted by the irritation of an engaged couple talking to what is most likely their priest or minister. "I want a location where you can see the Hudson," she swoons. "My mother and I have a love/hate relationship," she blabs. "My dad is 90% Italian, his [indicating her fiance] name is more Italian than mine but I'm ACTUALLY more Italian."

This was amusing to them.

I thought, what a great match, both equally bland, and they've found one another.

Except I look up and he's clearly gay. I know it. They're on their way out and I want to shout: "HE'S GAY."

But who am I to destroy their marital bliss?

A friend I know got married to a man on whom she cheated, repeatedly. I reluctantly went to the wedding and during it, wanted to SCREAM: "RUN. SHE HAS CHEATED ON YOU ALREADY."

Now they're in couples therapy two years in and, well, she's cheated again.

He knows about it, apparently.

Again, who am I? Maybe people LIKE having gay husbands. Maybe weak people LIKE having a wife who cheats. Maybe it keeps things interesting.

Maybe I'm the one who's boring.